My Final Thoughts

As I have now finished the novel, I can honestly say that it opened my eyes in so many ways. My knowledge of eating disorders was satisfactory before reading this incredible story, but now I can say that it is optimal. I consider myself very fortunate that I was able to read Portia de Rossi’s raw life story of everything that she was able to overcome and the battles that she fought in order to do so. I feel unbelievably inspired by her bravery and her willpower.

Before reading the novel, I understood what anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa were and the characteristics that went along with them. What I didn’t know was the raw details of what goes on inside the mind of someone who is living with one or both of these disorders. Portia has made this possible by allowing us into her mind, complete with her personal thoughts and the voices that encouraged her to continue to harm herself from the inside. The entire time I was reading her life story, I was eager to get to the point where she recovered, where she realized that she was enough and she was beautiful no matter what size she was. There even was a time when I thought that she would not get to that point, and I began to feel such sadness for her. Finally when I was nearing the end of the novel, it happened; Portia’s turning point. That moment in time where she came to the realization that she needed to do what was best for her and listen to her family and her friends. Unfortunately for her, this realization did not come until she fainted while getting her make-up off after filming a scene of a movie she had been working on for some time.

After Portia fainted, she received testing to determine the cause of her loss of consciousness. This is when her wake-up call occurred. She had lupus, and not only that, but she had osteoporosis. Learning of all of the health issues she had developed due to not treating her body properly, Portia was finally ready to take control of her health and she did not care what it took to be healthy. She described it as the end of her career at the time, but she did not care. She was going to succeed, she was going to be happy, and more importantly, healthy.

I will end this by saying; Portia fought a battle with herself for years and years; a battle that completely consumed not only herself but the people around her. She struggles with being gay in an industry that did not yet openly accept gay people, and she struggles with her anorexia and bulimia. Her mental and physical health were both deteriorating at a devastating rate, and she was losing control. The way she saw it though, she was her career could only improve if her mental and physical health decreased. This was a significant imbalance in her life for a very long time. It was hard for her to choose one over the other, and she was certain that she did indeed have to make a choice one way or another. Thankfully, she eventually realized that she could have both good mental and physical health while having a thriving career.

Mind over matter.